Monday, August 3, 2015

She's Here

On Sunday July 19 we got a voice mail from the sw saying that the baby had been born and she was healthy. She called me back on Monday to say that everything was going as planned. They were going to visit bm in the hospital at 2pm with the lawyer to sign papers. We were to arrive at the hospital at 3pm and wait in the lobby. The sw would call us to tell us if she had signed the papers or not. We also found out that we had the chance to say overnight and take care of the baby.

We arrived at the hospital with our gift bag and asked for the delivery section We sat anxiously in the lobby waiting for the call. We got the call and everything was done. We went upstairs and met the bm. She was holding our daughter. It was really awkward since it was our first time meeting her. She was sweet. She gave me the baby to hold. I just sat there staring at the sleeping baby. It was amazing. We gave the bm her present and then the sw led the discussion.

We spoke for a while and then the sw told her that we would take the baby to the next room and asked her to say good bye. I handed her the baby and asked if she wanted to be alone. She said it was ok. She said good bye and we wheeled the baby next door. The bm was discharged that day.

As I walked in the room with dh, the baby, and the sw I started to cry tears of joy. I could not believe this was really happening. We spoke with her for awhile and then she left. The baby was asleep so dh and I looked at each other and did not know what to do next.

He went out to get us some food. I stayed with the baby. We spent the night. I made sure to tell the nurses about our situation and that I had no idea of what I was doing. They were really great. They taught me so much.

We took the baby home the next day. We had to take her to the dr for a check up. She is really healthy. 8 pounds, 19 inches. She passed all of her newborn tests including the drug screening that the agency requested. She is very sweet. I love her already.
In our state the bm has 30 days to change her mind. The sw said not to post her name or photo on the internet until after the 30 days. The sw has already spoken with bm a few times and she is doing well. We have gave the sw some prints to give the bm of us holding the baby and some of the baby sleeping and awake.

We have had her home for 2 weeks now. Which is half way!  I have been very busy. She eats every 2-3 hours. Then she needs to burp and get a diaper change, so by the time she goes to sleep it is almost time to eat again.

She is amazing. I love her and had an immediate bond with her from the moment she was first placed in my arms.

Sunday, July 19, 2015


We decided that we would contact the sw on Monday 7/20, since that would be a week since the last time I contacted her. On Friday, 7/17, I got a phone call from the sw.

The sw said that the bm had gone to the hospital and she might be in labor. We spoke a little bit about the next steps. She said that we had to wait and see what the bm wanted to do. She might want to see us right aft birth or she may wait until discharge time. The could be 2 days for natural birth and 4 days for c-section. She said that we might bring this baby home on Sun or Mon.

She also mentioned that discharge could take 3 hours and we had to attend a newborn care class.
I got really excited and called dh. The bm went to a local hospital that specializes in women's issues. Everyone around here loves that place. It is small and has great staff. The sw also said that they are very adoption friendly. She called them to remind them of the case details and gave them our names.

After I got off the phone with her, I went into cleaning mode. I think it was a combination of trying to keep my mind off of it while also making sure my house was ready for a baby.

A few hours later the sw called back and said it was a false alarm. The bm was not in labor so they sent her home.  I was expecting to get another call back that night or the next day, but here I am on Sunday with no news.

The positives that I am focusing on are the fact that I actually got a call when she went to the hospital. I am very happy about that since I was under the impression I would only get a call after the birth. This means that I will get a day or two prior notice. She saw the dr on Fri which makes me feel better knowing that everything seems to be ok.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Trying to be Patient

We found out about this baby about 4 weeks ago. I only really started to feel like I was waiting about two weeks ago. The due date was yesterday, so now I feel like I am stuck in the 2ww but I can not poas.

I emailed the sw on Monday to try and get an update. I was surprised when she wrote me back later that day. She said that the bm was doing well and she was still extremely pregnant. She had a dr apt later that day and the sw would try to get an update on Tues.

Now it is Thurs and I never heard back from the sw. I can't harass the sw and risk getting her mad, so I have to be very careful about how often I contact her. She has been very nice to me lately so I don't want to jeopardize that.

We are trying to be patient but it is very hard. I am trying to focus on the positives" the bm is seeking medical attention at this point, and she is still interested in us. I told dh to enjoy our dinkhood while it lasts. This has helped him a little.  

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Pack N Play

My friend gave  her pack n play to another friend a few years back and now it was going to be mine. I figured it would make a good temporary crib until after we move next month. I really didn't want to get a crib yet anyway.

My friend brought the pack n play over and we attempted to set it up. There was no instruction manual but there were some instructions written on the bottom. It seemed really straight forward. Get the sides to lock. We tried for over 30 min and could only get one side to lock. We tried pulling up. Then push the button in while pulling. We kept hearing a sound like it had locked but then it would not stay. She called the primary owner and asked her about it. She mentioned that she had a hard time with it too.

We decided that it must be broken bc we were able to get the one side to lock. We went to the store to go look at new ones and try out the floor models just in case we had missed something and needed to ask someone at the store for help. We got the floor model and we were able to unlock and re lock the sides with no issues. I debated about whether or not to buy a new one in the store. It was cheaper on Amazon so I decided that I would order one when I got home and  hoping that it would get here before the baby.

We went back to my house and started to fold it up for the trash. That is when my friend yells out "it locked." I could not believe it. We then were able to lock the other 3 sides in two seconds. We unlocked and then made sure we could lock it again. This time it was so simple.

It turns out that you have to lock the sides first before pushing down the center to made the bottom flat. When we did sides first, it was simple. When we had previously done bottom first it would not lock the sides.

We had a good laugh about this.

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Gender Reveal

I went to the store  with the intention of buying gender neutral clothing. I don't really mind yellow or green so I thought it would not be a big deal. When I got to the store I quickly realized that there is a very limited selection of gender neutral. All of the cute stuff was very specific to one or the other.

I fell in love and just had to buy a few things in pink or purple. This little dress and sweater was my favorite. I texted it to my family for a gender reveal. So now you know that the baby is a girl. It makes it more exciting and more scary at the same time.

I went out and got the basics to satisfy the social worker which was clothes, food, and diapers. My friend gave me a car seat and a pack n play. I spent about $300 on basics and even tried not to spend that much.

 I bought some newborn and some 0-3. Some of my friends said that their baby was small enough for newborn at birth and others said they went right to 0-3. I made a list of what I got at each store so I could return it if needed. I am not opening up anything until I see how big the baby is.

I put everything out in the living room for DH to see. He did not say anything. This has been really hard on him so I knew that I had to find a way to expose him to things without pushing him too far. I asked him about it and he started to open up about his fears. We had a great talk.

One week until due date!

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Paperwork Preview

Today we went into the office to see the SW and go over the papers we will sign once the baby is born. We have to sign many papers stating that we understand the risks. They cannot guarantee what the health of the child will be and the bm has 30 days to change her mind etc. They will do some testing of the baby and the bm at the hospital to check for basic health and do a drug screen.

It was a nice meeting. We had heard most of the case details before. There was one surprise. The bm did not pay her insurance bill. When the sw found out, she paid, but it was too late and now the bm has none and needs to reapply.  We might have to cover the delivery bill which would be a few thousand more. She said sometimes the hospital will cut you a break when you are the adoptive parents. The sw is trying to get the issue straightend out and she said that if it goes through they might be able to get it covered even after the baby is born. We would not have to pay for this until after the 30 days since we would not be respobsible unless we keep the baby. Although this could be more money I don't care unless it is nonrefundable. I have come this far already.

The sw told us to keep going with this case. She congratulated us on making it this far. It is a weird place to be in. I am very excited to have made it this far. I am excited that the plan is that I will take this baby home. I am scared to get too excited bc this is not permanent yet.

She said after the 30 days are up then we go to court to file for pemanent placement. She told us to tell our family to think of it as we will be foster parents for 30 days. She told us not to have a party yet. I had to laugh bc I have nothing set up and I told my family already no parties until the 30 days are up.

My friend gave me a car seat. So far that is the only thing I have. I might go shopping this weekend and get a few things to hide in the house.

The sw asked us if we knew the gender. She never mentioned it so I just assumed they did not know. She knew and asked us if we wanted to know. I was afraid and then I looked at dh, I was shocked when he wanted to know. We found out.............It is crazy that even though you are happy for either, knowing makes it more real. I am not telling anyone yet. I need to process this first.

Count down to the due date: 14 days

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Annual Home Inspection

The sw came to my house for our annual inspection. This experience was totally different than last year. Last year she started out with insulting me about my clutter and how small my house was.This year she came into my house and was nice. She complimented me on how clean my house was.  I just smiled and thanked her. She said that I really cleaned up nice. Again, I smiled and nodded. It is amazing how the timing worked out, bc we had to clean out the house to sell it.

Then she tells me that I am a totally different person this year. She said last year I was depressed and I got really mad at her when she mentioned my clutter...... OMG so I had to just smile and nod. She said all of my stuff was keeping me down and now I am free. I smiled and nodded bc even though it was kind of annoying, she was being nice and was complimenting me. If you spoke to her you would think I should be a guest on hoarders.

I showed her pictures of our new house. I think that also helped a lot to set the mood bc she loved that house and knew that we would be living there soon. She reviewed our home study. This time it was easy bc we only had to confirm that the information was the same. Last year she interviewed us and it was really tough.

We spoke again about case #5 and she said that the bm was still interested. She was going to see her soon and make sure that she was still on board with this plan. We are not going to meet her.

The sw said that this woman could deliver any day. We are both leaving the area for a few days this weekend, but she said it was ok. Then if we take the baby home, she would come back to the house in three days to make sure we had a bassinet, food, clothing, and diapers.

Today the sw wanted money for the bm's lawyer.  This is the furthest we have ever gotten.

HMMMM this might be getting real.